not now.. plz.. n nt again?!

jst wen u thnk dat things r fine.. things r as u want them to b.. jst wen u re-read a sentence, smile n lift ur pen to add d dot (.) LIFE adds a comma (,) n u r expected to add moments, minutes, memories n words..
it's disgusting.. u cry out "it's nt fair"
bt then Life nvr is.. (n all fair things r so predictable, dry n boring!!)
bt den wat bothers u most is dat it's scary..
n hence u dnt wanna think abt it.. coz it sure gives u a fright.. dis realization.. dat U..
U who hd completely different plans.. U who hd worked so hard..
U who hd loved so much.. U who hd thot dat U hd nw grown strong enuf to let go..
U who hd learnt to dream, plan n execute..
hd some how forgotten to think abt failures.. had forgotten abt destiny.. d bigger power.. good or bad.. dunno.. bt defintely bigger!!
n hence change - deviation 4m wat u'd thot, wished, prayed for, hd nearly got.. gives u a shock.. to say d least..
r U angry or hurt?
is it anger or despair?
or simply excruciating pain? or r U numbed by disbelief?
1 more sleepless night? jst wen u wer thnking of curling up.. n divine sleep!
U hate it.. rite? n so do i.. Bt who cares?!
dis is d thought wic haunts u late at nite..
wic disturbs u in d morning, evn b4 u open ur eyes..
y me? y cudn't it b d othr way round? hw cud dis happen?
hate dese adamant hows n whys..
take up a lot of time.. n nvr tend to leave an answer wic makes sense..
bt then.. it's morning.. n it's brighter.. n ur nt scared anymore.. u love d light.. d fresh air.. d warmth.. d birds too (depends)..
u think afresh.. plan.. dream.. write another prayer..
bt d night leaves u disillusioned yet again..
y do v dream, wish, plan, pray again n again?
to feel d scattered shards cutting into d thin layers.. of skin n consciousness?
to feel d warm blood wen d darkness runs a chill down our spine?
No.. i guess not..
its wat v call innate, natural, human..
silly?! yup.. may b.. dunno.. yes.. sometimes..
or is dis wat we call Faith?!
intangible.. invincible!
d Bigger Power?!