transformations!!

I hate to see d change
bt whom m i to blame?
u? me? thousand others?
hey who cares? no one bothers!
life moves on.. fast-paced.. glides!
trips sumtimes ovr d lies..
d smile's more frequent.. more plastic..
days pass.. nights.. nthng drastic..
u've canged.. n so hv i..
bt sumtimes.. jst sumtimes.. rarely..
i still do cry..
m still tryng to figure out..
wen exactly we bid good bye..
it's all different now.. 4 good or bad??
nah! m nt dat happy.. n obv nt dat sad..
hey! thr's no tracing back.. no about turn..
dis new so-called life.. hs jst begun!
feel d flow.. if u do still feel at all..
m too numb.. aftr d glorious fall..
silence hurts.. words scare..
yeah.. i knw.. nthng's evr fair!
jst dat sum1 sumtime
cud hv jst once cried out "beware"
hmmm.. bunk it! like all things i do..
not dat thr ws more i cud.. true..
well m nt evn sure whethr i wud want to..
so?! quit d thots.. wid time lets jst glide..
lets njoy (atleast try to) life's uneven ride!!

all smiles.......

nthng complicated.... nthng much.. nthng new or xciting..
jst dat.. hd a nice day ystrday..
4 no reason..
still smiling!!!!! :)

sometimes.. rarely.. hardly.. yet sometimes..

sumtimes.. u r jst happy.. it's a lil stupid coz dere's no reason to smile.. bt den isn't dat reason enuf?? n is it always necessary to hv a reason 4 evry lil thing?? c'mon u need dis.. n u deserve dis.. once in a while.. a silly lil smile.. without rhyme or reason.. a smile.. pure.. n divine..
makes things simple.. or may b complicated.. once u begin to ponder!! so, jst let it be.. who cares??
let d world.. d ppl.. d music.. d words.. d deeds.. d rationale b..
jst smile.. dis moment, dis happiness, dis joy, dis smile.. is only urs..
njoy ur command.. feel d warmth.. n dnt u dare think.. dnt u evn try to hold on to it..
transitory.. yes.. it is.. n dats y it's so beautiful..
dnt b scared.. let go.. jst b urself.. evn if it's for such few moments as dese..
wen.. U r simply U..

not now.. plz.. n nt again?!

jst wen u thnk dat things r fine.. things r as u want them to b.. jst wen u re-read a sentence, smile n lift ur pen to add d dot (.) LIFE adds a comma (,) n u r expected to add moments, minutes, memories n words..
it's disgusting.. u cry out "it's nt fair"
bt then Life nvr is.. (n all fair things r so predictable, dry n boring!!)
bt den wat bothers u most is dat it's scary..
n hence u dnt wanna think abt it.. coz it sure gives u a fright.. dis realization.. dat U..
U who hd completely different plans.. U who hd worked so hard..
U who hd loved so much.. U who hd thot dat U hd nw grown strong enuf to let go..
U who hd learnt to dream, plan n execute..
hd some how forgotten to think abt failures.. had forgotten abt destiny.. d bigger power.. good or bad.. dunno.. bt defintely bigger!!
n hence change - deviation 4m wat u'd thot, wished, prayed for, hd nearly got.. gives u a shock.. to say d least..
r U angry or hurt?
is it anger or despair?
or simply excruciating pain? or r U numbed by disbelief?
1 more sleepless night? jst wen u wer thnking of curling up.. n divine sleep!
U hate it.. rite? n so do i.. Bt who cares?!
dis is d thought wic haunts u late at nite..
wic disturbs u in d morning, evn b4 u open ur eyes..
y me? y cudn't it b d othr way round? hw cud dis happen?
hate dese adamant hows n whys..
take up a lot of time.. n nvr tend to leave an answer wic makes sense..
bt then.. it's morning.. n it's brighter.. n ur nt scared anymore.. u love d light.. d fresh air.. d warmth.. d birds too (depends)..
u think afresh.. plan.. dream.. write another prayer..
bt d night leaves u disillusioned yet again..
y do v dream, wish, plan, pray again n again?
to feel d scattered shards cutting into d thin layers.. of skin n consciousness?
to feel d warm blood wen d darkness runs a chill down our spine?
No.. i guess not..
its wat v call innate, natural, human..
silly?! yup.. may b.. dunno.. yes.. sometimes..
or is dis wat we call Faith?!
intangible.. invincible!
d Bigger Power?!

beginnings..

beginnings r always difficult..
mean.. dunno wer to begin with.. how do u start a conversation.. a journey.. a relationship..
endings r bitter, abrupt.. bt beginnings r more difficult.. some how..